


How to Train Your Mandalorian

by Art3mys, RosaleeLuAnn



Category: The Mandalorian
Genre: Adorable Grogu | Baby Yoda, Canon Compliant, Digital Art, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fanart, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Din Djarin, Mandalorian Culture (Star Wars), POV Grogu | Baby Yoda, Protective Grogu | Baby Yoda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 20:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Art3mys/pseuds/Art3mys, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaleeLuAnn/pseuds/RosaleeLuAnn
Summary: How to Train Your Mandalorian was written by Grogu Djarin, transcribed by @Art3mys, and illustrated by @RosaleeLuAnn.
Comments: 32
Kudos: 165
Collections: Noromo Mando: Mandalorian Genfics Collection





	How to Train Your Mandalorian

Congratulations! If you are reading this pamphlet, you are in possession of a shiny, new Mandalorian. This is an exciting, if challenging, time for you both! With the proper care and training, your Mandalorian will become the faithful, loving _buir_ they were meant to be.

There are **two stages** to training your Mandalorian. Please resist the temptation to skip ahead and do not progress onto the next stage until you know that you've achieved the one before it. Mandalorians can be skittish and proper training is required.

**STAGE ONE: COMMITMENT**

**STEP ONE: ESTABLISH CONTACT**

Although you have acquired your Mandalorian, they may not be aware that they have acquired **you**. Establishing this fact will take all of your natural resources, chief among them, the **eyes.** When you first sense your Mandalorian approaching, make sure that your face is covered (preferably with a rough blanket). This step is very important! The reveal is _everything.  
  
_

__

As the Mandalorian opens your carrier, slowly pull the blanket from your face and deploy the **eyes.** Be sure to open them as wide as possible and blink a few times. This will convince the Mandalorian that you are an _ad_ in need of assistance. Remember that Mandalorians are trained from birth to respond to the plight of any and all _ade_. If your Mandalorian acknowledges you as _ad_ , they will be compelled to protect you, at least initially.

You will know this step has been successfully navigated upon observing one of the common responses from your new Mandalorian:

Remember that your new Mandalorian may be very confused and curious. Eventually, they will extend a hand or finger in your direction. Reciprocate the gesture. You have now established contact with your Mandalorian.

**Note of Caution:**  
  
Your new Mandalorian has difficulty appropriately assessing threat levels and may attempt feats far beyond their (considerable) abilities. You will have to act quickly to save your Mandalorian from certain death. Mandalorians never walk away – even if it means facing a 200-ton rampaging mudhorn with the rough equivalent of a salad fork.

Since all subsequent steps depend on the completion of the first one, keep your eyes peeled and don't hesitate to use those powers!  
  


**STEP TWO: DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER**  
**  
**

Chances are that your Mandalorian has been on their own for a long time, perhaps even since early adolescence. They may be conditioned to endure unacceptable amounts of physical pain. Mandalorians may even attempt to heal themselves, using clumsy methods that cause further suffering. When this occurs, deploy **eyes** and **ears** to their fullest capacity! If your Mandalorian refuses, keep trying!

This goes not only for your Mandalorian but their friends. Don't hesitate to heal someone other than your Mandalorian. They may be more open to your assistance after seeing a friend accept it.

Remember that your Mandalorian will never question sacrificing themselves on behalf of others. There will be plenty of opportunities to heal them and, eventually, they will allow you to do so.

**STEP THREE: MAKE INTRODUCTIONS**

Introductions are civil affairs and **do not** involve blasters, flame-throwers, wrestling, or threats of imminent death. In training your Mandalorian to these expectations, you should be prepared to lead by example!

Use **eyes** to gaze trustingly up at potential allies. Raise **ears** to signify approval or curiosity. If your Mandalorian continues to struggle, you may have to introduce yourself. This means venturing outside the Razor Crest on your own, but you can do it.

Your Mandalorian isn’t alone when it comes to making introductions from the back end of a blaster. Slowly waddle down the ramp with **ears** pressed down and **eyes** blinking slowly. Coo sadly. Before too long, you’ll be the happy recipient of food, cuddles, and sympathy. You’ll also have earned invaluable assistance in training your Mandalorian. 

**Note:** It is strongly recommended that you refrain from force-choking anyone until certain of friend or enemy status. Unwarranted force-choking results in very hurt feelings.

**STEP FOUR: LISTEN - AND DO THE OPPOSITE**

After the successful completion of Step Three, it's time to take a well-deserved break. The fourth step is perhaps the most enjoyable, for you, if not for your Mandalorian.

**Just do the opposite of whatever they say.**

**Mandalorian:** Stay. Stay right here. Do not move.  
**You:** Here I am! Where are we going?

**Mandalorian:** Do not touch anything.  
**You:** Steer the ship.

**Mandalorian:** Don't touch the buttons.  
**You:** Oh? You meant touch the buttons?

**Mandalorian:** Give me the ball. The ball stays with the ship.  
**You:** Take the ball. 

Unable to verbally curtail this behavior, the Mandalorian will remove you from temptation by cuddling and carrying. The more you do the opposite, the more they will come to understand that you cannot be left alone. Reward your Mandalorian with adoring **eyes** and flappy **ears.** Happy cooing is also advised.

**COMPLETION OF STAGE ONE**

****

  
By the conclusion of Step Four, your Mandalorian will be ready to form the Clan of Two and accept responsibility for reuniting you with the Jedi. Your newly graduated Mandalorian cannot grasp the implications of this, nor should you tell them. Instead, reward them with attentive **ears** and fond glances – celebrate their accomplishment!

Please confirm the completion of Stage One before progressing onto Stage Two.

**STAGE TWO: CONNECTION**

**Natural Resources: Sounds  
  
**

**Sound** reminds the Mandalorian that you are present and open to conversation. In general, **sound** includes breathing, grunting, purring, and chirping. Although you may attempt **sound** as a means of alerting your Mandalorian to Force disturbances, this never succeeds.

For precise communication, use **sound** to attract their attention, at which point, you can clarify with **eyes** and **ears**. For instance, a slight whine followed by beseeching **eye** s and completely flattened **ears** eloquently communicates hunger. Although your Mandalorian may not be able to procure food immediately, they’ll let you know that it’s coming…… eventually  
  


Your Mandalorian should recognize the following sounds.

Aaaaaaohhhhhheeeeeee [ _My food is trying to eat me.]_

Aaaooowww [ _I want the ball. Why can’t I have the ball?]_

Aaaowwu (Whining) [ _I don’t wanna. Don’t make me.]_

_Eeeeiiiiiii [Now we’re having fun!]_

Oh? or Doe? [ _That’s me! Say my name again! Say it again!]_

Patu _[I have spoken]_

**STEP FIVE: EAT**

****

Your Mandalorian procures and consumes food solely on the basis of nutritional content. They have forgotten, or perhaps never understood, the joy of eating delicious food such as frog, squid, and spider.

Show your Mandalorian how good it feels to catch and eat a fresh meal. Never pass up an opportunity to do so yourself! Slurp! Gulp! Giggle! Your Mandalorian may have to defend you from angry arachnids but that’s to be expected when your dinner isn’t a ration bar.

**About Eggs:** Listen to your Mandalorian when it comes to eggs, even if it means missing out on cuddles earned by doing the opposite (Step Four). Eggs can turn into friends, and you don’t eat friends! However, you do eat enemies. Telling the difference between the two makes eggs tricky and necessitates your Mandalorian’s assistance.

**STEP SIX: FLY**

  
Since early adolescence, your Mandalorian has been driven by their obligation to the Covert. Every action carries the seriousness of repaying a life debt that can never be paid in full. You must show your Mandalorian the joyousness of everyday life, particularly flying.

Chances are that your Mandalorian has never recognized or admitted how much they love flying. Just ask yourself one question. How long did it take your Mandalorian to use the Rising Phoenix despite the Armorer’s warning and a life-threatening brain injury? Twelve minutes … and they spent that entire time thinking about it.  
  


Watch them take off! Despite the exhaustion and clumsy landing, your Mandalorian radiates satisfaction. They adore the air!  
  


Like the Rising Phoenix, the Mandalorian loves their ship and delights in flying it. The Razor Crest leaves roller coasters in the dust! When your Mandalorian dips and rolls the ship to perfection, wave your arms and giggle with delight. They feel the same, hidden under their beskar’gam.  
  


**Note:** Do not fix the ship. Despite resigned sighing and aggrieved posing, your Mandalorian enjoys repairing the ship. Besides, you might get electrocuted, and then where would you be?

**STEP SEVEN: WAIT  
  
**

The final stages of training pose a true danger to your Mandalorian. Stay alert! Their desperation to keep you safe leads to increasingly reckless behavior. Despite wearing heavy beskar’gam and not knowing how to swim, they plunge into icy waters. They throw themselves before close-range blaster fire. Although knocked out and flung backward, they try to enter the Jedi force field not once, but twice.

Unfortunately, you can do nothing to assist your Mandalorian except bathe them in the unseen light of the Force. This is their battle to fight. You must let them.

**Very Important Note:** Listen for your Mandalorian’s laugh. Memorize it. Hold it tight.

**STEP EIGHT: LOVE**

  
At the beginning of Stage Two, your Mandalorian promised to return you to the Jedi. At its conclusion, you face the consequences of this commitment together. Having carefully and lovingly trained your Mandalorian, you need to let them go.  
  


But first, you have one more request. You must touch your Mandalorian’s bare face. As you search for their eyes behind the t-visor, raise your right claw. They already know what you’re asking. When your Mandalorian releases the helmet’s vacuum seal, you understand the size of the sacrifice. They won’t hesitate to make it.  
  


As your Mandalorian raises the helmet and your claw meets their cheek, they cease being your Mandalorian. They become your _buir_. Selfless love has no conditions. _Buir_ love their _ad_ because they are _ad_ ; the same way _ad_ love their _buir._ Words have never been your thing and neither of you need them here.  
  


**Knowing that love inevitably ends in loss and choosing to love anyway is the heart of courage.  
  
**

_Buir_ permits you to feel their flushing, damp skin. Until their eyes squeeze shut, _buir_ looks deep into your own. _Buir_ allows tenderness, fear, sorrow, and love to wash over their face. As _buir_ releases you, they meet the Jedi’s eyes and surrender you to his care.  
  


Gazing back over the Jedi’s shoulder, watch your _buir_ square their shoulders, swallow, and raise their chin. Their eyes glisten, but no tears fall lest you misinterpret their meaning. They nod. They let you go.  
  


This is courage. This is love.  
  


Now is the time for your own training. When you are ready, you will see them again.

**Author's Note:**

> @Fanfoolishness made this text better in every single way. I am so thankful for @lastwordbeforetheend for starting the #noromo mando tag and everyone on our server.
> 
> Please, please leave a comment - The author (Grogu Djarin) loves seeing them <3, and they absolutely give me life!!


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